Who Am I as a Communicator?

Thinking about the similarities and differences between how I evaluated myself as a communicator and how others evaluated me, one thing that surprised me the most is that others rated me highly than I rated myself.  This is surprising to me because even though I always tried to those moments of jittery, I still had the feeling that I was clumsy and that they were obvious to people around, especially when I am called upon suddenly to perform a task, e.g. in church; while people clap I usually felt rioting within, it was always a battle. 

This week, I gained a better understanding that true communication involves other people around us, and that the combination of both their evaluation and ours help us to know who we are as a communicator.  I also had a better understanding on the risk of judging people with first impression and using that as base in communicating with such people; this is because we would not have had a clearer knowledge about the ‘person’ of that individual.  I believe that these will inform and enrich my professional work and personal life a great deal.

Communication and Culture

Yes I communicate differently with people from different groups and cultures.

I communicate differently with each of the different groups that I mentioned; they are, Choristers (singles and married men and women of diverse cultural background - professionals), Teenagers (boys and girls of age 13 to 19, from diverse cultural background), and Workers - in – Training (singles and married men and women of diverse cultural background).

The first strategy I could you to help me communicate more effectively with the groups I have identified is good listening skills and a show of genuine interest.  Active listening helps to resolve issues timely and effectively.  Another strategy is to capture people’s names correctly and use it often during the cause of communication.  This creates a warmly atmosphere that makes the other person feel at ease.  I will also be watchful so that I am not the only person doing the talking, I will allow others make their contributions too so that they feel as being a part of the conversation and not just listening and carrying out instruction.

Communication Skills: Language, Nonverbal, Listening

The episode of a television show I recorded was titled “Tears Again”.  Watching the show with the sound turned off, I though the characters’ relationships were king and subject based on the ways in which they were communicating as I observed a show of dangerous anger on the man that dressed like a king while the lady was just shedding tears and seemed to be begging for forgiveness.

Based on the nonverbal behavior I observed, I saw a feeling and expression of anger and hatred with annoyance on the man that dressed like a king and a feeling and expression of weakness, total surrender and hurt on the lady that I thought could be one of the king’s subject.

Now with the sound turned on, the assumption I made about the characters and plot based on the way in which I interpreted the communication I observed was that the lady was one of the king’s subjects.

I believe that my assumptions would have been more correct if I had been watching a show that I know well.

What I learned about communication from this experience is that assumption in communication could lead to misjudgment and thereby causing negative communication based on wrong impression.  I also learned that we should be slow to conclude on issues that we are not familiar with.

What Is Communication?

My blog this week is on a family member who demonstrated competent communication within a particular context.  The family member is my uncle who once had a misunderstanding with another senior member of the family and the other person got so worked up that he started yelling at the top to his voice, but my uncle remained calm and allowed the yelling to subside then he just said in a low tone, “…but brother, your are speaking with me here, we don’t need to shout to be heard….”.  That was the magic phrase and the yelling stopped totally.

I would say that even though the situation looked as if it would turn violent, my uncle exhibited what I can call assertive behavior, that is, he was clear with what he wanted and, without being nasty, stated it  firmly.

I often model some of my communication behaviors after my uncle because this kind of communication helps the other party to check himself/herself; it also helps to avoid physical combat, thereby building matured people in a matured society.